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# I Won't Say It Ever
- URL: https://www.hawtornvrabot.com/i-wont-say-it-ever/
- Published: 2026-10-22T16:50:10.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-22T16:51:38.000Z
- Description: I won’t tell you what I need. You’ll hear everything else.
- Author: Hawtorn V. Rabot
- Tags: poetry, vulnerability, relationships

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I try to answer questions I wonder and ask, usually ending with more questions. Poetry, memoir, fiction, essay, rap, politics, analyses - nicheless. I'm just a guy who writes.

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I sit and stand and pace back and forth  
I’m trying not to show my pain  
I cover and hide  
I fake the faces  
Pose the poses  
And hope you won’t see  
But what I really want I won’t say

Please don’t leave

I walk and stop and look away  
I can’t give away the keys  
To the pieces I don’t show  
Or tell you how to wound when you strike  
So take that swing  
It’ll hurt for sure  
But my defenses are up  
Vest and armor cover the wounds  
You’ll never have the chance  
To open the scars  
Though I’ll never say

Please don’t leave

I stop and think and wonder more  
I sense you getting closer  
I’m on high alert  
I think you mean well  
But I’m not sure  
And if it’s you or me  
My body will choose me  
Every time  
I won’t tell you

Please don’t leave me

I breathe faster speak meaner and get ready  
You won’t get me  
Not now  
Not ever  
Try me  
Come at me  
See what happens  
You won’t like it  
I know it  
You’ll learn it  
You won’t ever hear me say

Please don’t leave me

I stare and gasp and start to cry  
I hurt one who meant love  
I saw it coming and couldn’t stop it  
I did the therapy and work  
And for what?  
I can’t fix it now  
It’s all too late  
The remorse drips from my eyes  
The sorrow swells into my stomach

I let out a cry and gasp as I whisper

Please, leave me

I’m not good for you

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